Queer Kid, Straight Mom

Where have all the lesbians gone?

Mon, 08 Jun 2026 16:05:57 GMT

TV shows featuring queer female leads seem to be the first to the chopping block when it comes to renewals. Why?

Boycotts and also what is up with Coachella?!

Mon, 08 Jun 2026 15:48:56 GMT

Boycotts - when are they worth it and how do they work?

In Memory of Jason Collins

Mon, 25 May 2026 13:31:41 GMT

Jason Collins, the first gay man to come out while playing in the NBA, recently died of brain cancer. We pay our respects, tell you a little about his accomplishments, and discuss the progress that still needs to be made in men's professional sports.

Bisexuality: Stereotypes and Misunderstandings

Mon, 13 Apr 2026 16:17:25 GMT

Bisexuality is the most represented group in the LGBTQ+ community, but also one of the most misunderstood. We’ll address some of those misunderstandings and explain why it’s important to validate bi people’s identities.

Do Straight People Belong in Queer Fan Fiction Spaces?

Mon, 23 Mar 2026 14:03:15 GMT

As queer stories like #heartstopper and #heatedrivalry find wide appeal, tension arises as straight fans follow the fandom into queer spaces. One of these is spaces is the world of #fanfiction, long a queer refuge from heteronormative storylines. Are queer fans justified in being territorial, and what guidelines should straight fans follow in being respectful guests in spaces that are not their own?

Get Up Stand Up: Protest in the USA

Mon, 09 Mar 2026 15:15:09 GMT

The U.S. has a long history of protest - what has worked, what hasn't, and what can we learn?

Heated Rivalry Part 2: This is Why We Can't Have Nice Things

Mon, 16 Feb 2026 18:12:38 GMT

Heated Rivalry is a runaway hit, but that's not all good news for the queer community. Take a listen.

#queerpodcast #lgbtqpodcast #heatedrivalry #queermedia #parasocialrelationships

It's Time to Talk about that Gay Hockey Show: Part 1

Mon, 02 Feb 2026 22:43:05 GMT

Yeah, everyone's talking about Heated Rivalry, so how can we not jump into the conversation? Hear our thoughts on why straight women love this show, queer autistic representation, and more.

#queerpodcast #heatedrivalry #fujoshi #them #rachelreid #jacobtierney #genderroles #autism

The Campaign Ends: Thoughts on the Stranger Things Finale

Tue, 20 Jan 2026 17:10:11 GMT

Stranger Things has wrapped, to mixed reviews. We have thoughts about it all: plot, pacing, Will's coming out, and what could have - should have? - been.

Anti-Trans Legislation: Focus on Youth Healthcare

Mon, 05 Jan 2026 19:11:54 GMT

State legislatures all over the country have introduced bills to limit trans healthcare for youth in the past couple of years. Although many of these bills will never make it into law, we think it's important to see what's out there and to explore the misconceptions that lead to these policy proposals.

#lgbtqpodcast #lgbtqpodcaster #queerpodcast #queerpodcaster #parentallies #genderaffirmingcare #antitranslegislation #pubertyblockers #genderdysphoria

The Gay Christmas Movie Episode

Mon, 22 Dec 2025 05:29:06 GMT

Our annual Christmas movie episode, in which we review and discuss gay Christmas movies of various quality... plus a new game where I name a non-gay Christmas movie and Siena invents a (mostly) plausible gay subtext. Enjoy!

The Supreme Court and Passport Gender Markers: What you need to know

Mon, 24 Nov 2025 15:00:13 GMT

The Supreme Court just upheld Trump's executive order on passport gender markers. Here's a quick summary of what that means for our trans friends.

Celesbian gossip and the wild world of "Gaylorism"

Wed, 12 Nov 2025 01:05:55 GMT

That's right, Gaylorism - the social media theory (and its fallout) about Taylor Swift being secretly queer. We're having a little chat about what is and isn't queerbaiting (again), what responsibility celebrities do or don't have to use their voices politically, and the inherent weirdness of obsessing over a stranger's sexuality.

#queerkidstraightmompodcast #queerpodcast #queerpodcaster #lgbtqpodcast #parentallies #taylorswift #celesbiangossip #queerbaiting #vox #buzzfeed #theguardian #karliekloss #sabrinacarpenter #jenniferlawrence #montereybayaquarium #celebrityactivism

Can't You Just Be A Lesbian, Bobbi?!

Mon, 27 Oct 2025 12:51:29 GMT

S4 E4: In honor of Halloween week, we are talking horror movies! This time, our focus is on “problematic” trans characters. We talk about the villains of 5 movies of varying quality, and discuss the harmful stereotypes they proliferate.

#lgbtqpodcast #queerpodcast #lgbtqpodcaster #queerkidstraightmompodcast #queerkidstraightmom #parentallies #horrormovies #longlegs #houseofwax #rockyhorrorpictureshow #silenceofthelambs #dressedtokill #osgoodperkins #them #samanthaallen #frantirado #jamesfactora #anthonyperkins #psycho #medialiteracy

Queerness, Politics, and... Hotel Transylvania?

Mon, 13 Oct 2025 13:29:28 GMT

We love spooky season, and we love talking about movies, but those aren't the only reasons we're talking about Hotel Transylvania. These movies are fun to watch, but they also have some really interesting social commentary. Let's talk about it!

Shining Like I'm Born to Be: K-Pop Demon Hunters as a Queer Metaphor

Mon, 29 Sep 2025 13:32:11 GMT

Beyond the aesthetic fun and great music, K-Pop Demon Hunters has a powerful message for anyone struggling to accept the things about themselves that they have been told to hide. We are inspired by this movie and the message it gives to queer kids - "love who you are and find the power in your voice" - and to their families: "let them."

Then They Came for Me: The Right's Fixation on the Trans Community

Mon, 15 Sep 2025 14:31:20 GMT

Throughout history, power-hungry leaders have blamed marginalized people for society's problems - often to distract from their own complicity in those very problems. Right now, that marginalized group is the transgender community. A statistically insignificant group of trans people have committed shootings, but Republicans are committed to painting them as a threat. We have some things to say about this...

Seeking Home: The Importance of Found Families in the LGBTQ+ Community

Mon, 11 Aug 2025 18:05:48 GMT

Blood is thicker than water, as the saying goes, but sometimes the safest people for LGBTQ+ folks are not their family members. For many youth, rejection means being thrown out of their houses. For others, of all ages, the hostility is more subtle. In both cases, other members and allies of the queer community can provide more love, affirmation, and stability than biological family.

The Outrage Machine and Selling a Lifestyle

Mon, 21 Jul 2025 16:52:40 GMT

We hate to give Republican leadership credit, but they have knocked it out of the park with "loyalty via outrage." By exaggerating or even manufacturing threats, and packaging those threats with a conservative lifestyle brand, they ensure that their voters will show up - with heartbreaking consequences for the groups targeted by their outrage machine.

This Doesn't Have to be a Problem

Mon, 07 Jul 2025 20:29:19 GMT

As the Trump administration and Supreme Court continue to set back LGBTQ+ rights and visibility, even some among the gay community are pointing their fingers at transgender people. If trans people would just stop demanding rights and acceptance and medical privacy, they say, there would be no backlash against gay people. We think this is misguided and, in the case of journalists and other high profile voices, downright irresponsible. Today Siena and Brian attack this topic in the context of a recent New York Times piece by Andrew Sullivan.

Survey Says: New research debunks anti-trans talking points

Mon, 23 Jun 2025 13:54:27 GMT

A common argument by anti-trans activists is that regret is common among people who have received gender affirming care and/or transitioned. We love facts and data here at Queer Kid, Straight Mom, so we are excited to share the recently released results of the U.S. Transgender Survey. This huge survey, conducted by various trans groups and approved by the UCLA Institutional Review Board, not only shows that few trans people detransition, and the main reason they do so is because the people around them make it so hard to be trans.

#queerkidstraightmom #queerpodcast #queerpodcaster #lgbtqpodcast #lgbtqpodcaster #parentallies #genderaffirmingcare #detransitioning #ustransgendersurvey #transequalityeducationfund #nationalblacktransadvocacycoalition #translatincoalition #nationalqueerasianpacificislanderalliance #chloecole #erinreed #erininthemorning #montanalegislature #foxnews #saltlaketribune

Pride is a Protest

Mon, 09 Jun 2025 17:36:19 GMT

Pride is colorful, sparkly, and fun. It was also born from a desperate struggle for acceptance, rights, and safety.

OMG, Look What Woke Thing Nike's Doing Now: Media Framing, Fox News, and Misinformation

Mon, 19 May 2025 15:41:55 GMT

Right wing media has been abuzz with allegations that Nike is funding "trans experiments" on kids. This is a great example of media framing, a technique media outlets use to influence audience's beliefs and behavior about particular issues. Find out what the real story is, and how the allegation of the trans "agenda" is itself an agenda.

Rainbow Washing No More

Mon, 05 May 2025 21:01:00 GMT

Now that right wing backlash and the Trump administration have made this country a much more hostile place for LGBTQ+ people and their supporters, some brands are stepping away from their Pride sponsorships and DEI commitments. We'll walk you through who's fleeing and who's staying.

Hunger Games: The Capital, Queerness, and How to Not Be J.K. Rowling

Mon, 21 Apr 2025 14:12:54 GMT

Queerness in the Hunger Games series: it's subtle, and, early on, evoked in ways we don't think Suzanne Collins intended. We dig in to those early representations, plus what has changed in the two latest novels.

Rebuilding Together: Ally Activism and the Importance of Queer Voices

Mon, 07 Apr 2025 12:10:27 GMT

As the Democrats regroup and strategize for the future, they all - from party leaders to concerned community members - need to remember to include marginalized groups in the conversation. In this episode, we talk to Trudy Poux and Sam Smalls from the Future Perfect Project about the concerns of young queer people and how allies can best help them and bring their voices to every room.

Legislative Update

Mon, 24 Mar 2025 14:02:30 GMT

A look at some of the anti-LGBTQ+ legislation that's out there: what has passed, what has been voted down, and what's still on the table.

The award goes to...

Mon, 10 Mar 2025 15:27:05 GMT

A movie about Cardinals electing a new Pope and a movie musical about a transgender cartel boss... which would you guess represents gender diversity in a more dignified and authentic way? Here are our reviews of Conclave and Emilia Perez.

Make It Make Sense!

Mon, 24 Feb 2025 20:34:05 GMT

Let's talk about these anti-trans executive orders - what do they actually say, and what do they mean legally for trans people?

Social Media and the Queer Community: The Benefits and the Risks

Mon, 03 Feb 2025 12:05:26 GMT

With the recent drama over Tik Tok, we decided it's time to talk about social media and how, while it can come with risks to our safety - and maybe our democracy - it remains a place of alliance and belonging for the queer community.

When Love Feels Conditional: How to Deal with Unsupportive Family Members, feat. guest Dr. Michele McKinnie, PsyD

Mon, 20 Jan 2025 16:25:29 GMT

Holiday family gatherings can leave LGBTQ+ people reeling from interactions ranging from uncomfortable to fully traumatic. We talk to psychologist Dr. Michele McKinnie about how to recover from these interactions, and how to navigate these kinds of family dynamics in the future.

Defying Gravity and More: Why "Wicked" is a Queer Favorite

Mon, 23 Dec 2024 14:16:14 GMT

Siena says. "Gay people love 'Wicked.'" Sure, the film has singing, dancing, and an LGBTQ+ representative cast, but its resonance with and meaning to the queer community go much deeper.

Okay... WAS it the Anti-Trans Ads?

Mon, 09 Dec 2024 15:41:08 GMT

A couple of episodes ago, we discussed how ridiculous it was for Republicans to pour so much money into anti-trans campaign ads when it was such an unpopular issue. Now some say Democrats should have distanced themselves from transgender issues because those ads WERE successful. Is this true? Did those ads make a difference?

Gender Affirming Care, Actually

Mon, 25 Nov 2024 15:35:05 GMT

Gender affirming care is widely mischaracterized, often as a scare tactic. We think it's important that people know what it really involves, especially concerning young people. Siena shares some of their journey with hormone treatment as we encourage our listeners to learn, understand, and discourage others from spreading misinformation.

No One is Apolitical

Mon, 11 Nov 2024 14:08:30 GMT

Even if you say you don't care about politics, a lot of what you do affects and is influenced by the political system. And when you don't vote, or you refuse to endorse a candidate, because you're "not politcal," that is a political choice. Here's why.

Election 2024: What's Up with the Anti-Trans Attack Ads?

Mon, 28 Oct 2024 13:31:08 GMT

The Republican party has gone all in on anti-trans advertising this campaign season. Why have they chosen this issue, and why do they think it will work this time around?

Agatha All Along: How Marvel Got This One Right, and Why Conservatives Hate It

Mon, 14 Oct 2024 14:50:02 GMT

The previews intrigued us, but we also had to watch Agatha All Along because conservative media deemed it inappropriate (often an indicator of something fresh, diverse, and creative.) We found that while this show is not perfect, it's highly entertaining and the best work we've seen from Marvel in a long time - so here's our analysis!

We've Created a Monster

Mon, 23 Sep 2024 20:40:58 GMT

Horror movies have long carried ties with the queer community, as early filmmakers used monsters to embody the isolation and fear that exist when living outside society's norms.

Why you should care about LGBTQ+ rights even if you don't care about LGBTQ+ rights

Mon, 09 Sep 2024 22:09:15 GMT

Spoiler alert: LGBTQ+ people, especially young people, are strikingly overrepresented in at-risk populations. Today we look at three problems we can all agree need solutions - homelessness, substance abuse, and human trafficking - and explain why, if you care about these issues, you should care about LGBTQ+ rights.

Refuge: Which countries are safest for LGBTQ+ people?

Mon, 19 Aug 2024 19:28:10 GMT

Some countries (mostly European) are not only more accepting of LGBTQ people socially, but have robust laws protecting their rights. Others, not so much. We break down some of the best and worst, and discuss the complications of measuring queer friendliness.

The Games We Play: The Summer Olympics, LGTBQ+ athletes, and the inevitable gender controversy

Mon, 05 Aug 2024 16:13:29 GMT

The 2024 Summer Olympics feature some uplifting and inspiring storylines involving LGBTQ+ athletes. Sadly, they've also become a hotbed focus for some of the world's most discouraging anti-LGBTQ+ storylines - and we're not even talking about the Opening Ceremony here.

We Are Not Confused: Autism and Gender Diversity

Mon, 22 Jul 2024 14:59:00 GMT

Multiple studies have indicated that autistic people are more likely to be gender diverse than the neurotypical population. Why does this link exist, and what does it mean? (Hint: it doesn't mean autistic people are confused and being exploited.)

A Myth of Violence

Tue, 09 Jul 2024 03:37:18 GMT

No - there is not an "epidemic" of shootings by transgender people, but some sources spread this myth far and wide. These accusations are not only dangerous to transgender people; they are based on no real data. Let's talk about the real statistics and facts.

Does less pride month marketing mean less support?

Mon, 24 Jun 2024 15:07:01 GMT

As LGBTQ+ people experience increased attacks and businesses face boycotts over supporting them, Pride Month has taken a lower key presence in marketing campaigns. Is this fine - since pride campaigns don't always come with actual support - or does it indicate a backslide in willingness to vocally support the LGBTQ+ community?

Pinkwashing and the War in Gaza

Mon, 10 Jun 2024 15:18:36 GMT

What is pinkwashing, and what does it have to do with war? Gaza is a difficult topic, but we think it's important to talk about this phenomena as it relates to the situation in the Middle East.

Why are the kids all queer?

Mon, 27 May 2024 12:51:29 GMT

The proportion of Gen Z identifying as LGBTQ+ is higher than any previous generation. Are more young people identifying as queer because it's a fad - or because they're being indoctrinated by schools with rainbow flags? We think there are other causes.

Fan Culture and What it Means to the LGBTQ+ Community

Mon, 06 May 2024 11:49:29 GMT

Fan culture is an important part of the LGBTQ+ community. Today we sit down for a quick primer on what fan culture is, why it's important, and some of the key terminology -- plus discuss its value for the storytelling industry and culture at large.

Chosen Names

Mon, 22 Apr 2024 14:27:53 GMT

We discuss some ideas for how kids can ask families to use chosen names, and provide some perspective to help parents navigate these requests.

But make it gay

Tue, 09 Apr 2024 19:57:33 GMT

Our first edition of Make it Gay, a game where we imagine queer storylines in existing media. Today we take on some of the best movies of the last 15 years.

Why real feminists support trans rights.

Tue, 26 Mar 2024 03:24:46 GMT

Women's rights are human rights. So are trans rights. Here's why feminism shouldn't be an excuse to harm transgender women.

Opinion v. Fact: dissecting a NYT OpEd with Journalist Erin Reed

Mon, 11 Mar 2024 20:06:31 GMT

In February, the New York Times published a piece by opinion columnist Pamela Paul called As Kids, They Thought They Were Trans. They No Longer Do. Today, independent journalist Erin Reed helps us explain why this column is so misleading and problematic.

Mentors and Allies

Mon, 26 Feb 2024 16:08:13 GMT

Today we’re talking about mentoring relationships, why they’re particularly helpful to LGBTQ+ youth, and in turn why it’s particularly harmful when LGBTQ+ kids experience homophobia or rejection within a mentoring relationship.

Kings, Queens, and In-Betweens: A History of Drag

Mon, 12 Feb 2024 21:06:10 GMT

We talk about the history of drag, some colorful characters who have stood out along the way, and the role that drag has played and continues to play as a social commentary and form of activism.

Root Yourself in Love: A Chat with Representative Zooey Zephyr

Mon, 29 Jan 2024 13:20:06 GMT

Montana State Representative Zooey Zephyr joins us to discuss supporting LGBTQ+ youth, her political priorities, and how she has stayed centered through the past year's anti-trans legislation and her recent media attention.

Self Expression and Fighting Words: How Different Ideas of Free Speech Affect the LGBTQ+ Community

Mon, 15 Jan 2024 16:05:50 GMT

"It's my First Amendment right to express my beliefs!"

But what actually ARE First Amendment rights when it comes to self-expression, discrimination, and religious freedom?

We dive into some legal definitions and scenarios as we explore what the First Amendment does and doesn't protect when it comes to LGBTQ+ rights.

Make the Yuletide Gay... Just Do it Better

Mon, 11 Dec 2023 16:11:41 GMT

We wanted to see what the world of gay holiday movies has to offer... and we found it somewhat lacking.

For the Holiday Table: Responses to Common Misconceptions

Mon, 27 Nov 2023 15:52:49 GMT

Holiday gatherings often find us surrounded by family members and old friends who don't see the world the way we do - and that can mean enduring hurtful or offensive comments. While we don't encourage causing big family fights, it is important for your mental and physical health - as well as for the greater cause of stopping the spread of misinformation - to speak up. Here we provide some factual responses to some common misconceptions, as well as some ideas for tactful delivery.

Spooky season story time: The Striding Place🎃

Mon, 30 Oct 2023 16:18:14 GMT

Enjoy a spooky story and test the waters of our new Patreon offering of literary readings and discussion!

The Kids Are Alright

Mon, 16 Oct 2023 14:06:31 GMT

Dignity and determination reign large among LGBTQ+ young people, especially on college campuses around the country. Today we chat with two members of college student groups about what it's like to be an LGBTQ+ college student these days, what kind of environments and protections their schools provide, and how parents and college administrations can be good allies.

Wink and You'll Miss It: Queer Representation in the Marvel Cinematic Universe

Mon, 28 Aug 2023 18:02:18 GMT

Although there are some great queer characters in Marvel comics, on-screen depictions have been lacking in their portrayals. Who are some of the great queer Marvel characters, and why is Disney so reluctant to go all-in on their stories?

Trigger Warning: suicide, homophobia, transphobia

Playing it Queer: Should straight cis actors play queer roles?

Mon, 31 Jul 2023 12:26:57 GMT

Acting is always playing someone else, but when do actors cross the line into playing roles they don't really have a right to play? We cover a little LGBTQ+ media history, as well the opinions of some film personalities themselves, while discussing whether it's okay for straight or cisgender actors to play queer roles.

No Happy Endings: Queer Trauma in Period Films

Wed, 26 Jul 2023 19:41:24 GMT

We all know the formula: LGBTQ+ characters in period cinema live out a slow-speed tragedy, often inflicting pain on those who love them. Today, we discuss a handful of LGBTQ+ period pieces and dissect the accuracy and impact of their depictions.

The Hate Sessions: The year of anti-LGBTQ+ legislation

Mon, 03 Jul 2023 13:56:22 GMT

This legislative season has seen LGBTQ+ people, particularly kids, under unprecedented attack. We discuss some of these bills and try to find hope in the activism they have inspired.

The Right has it Wrong about Protecting our Kids

Mon, 19 Jun 2023 16:45:39 GMT

The recent attacks on Target and GLSEN show massive bigotry under the guise of "protecting kids." In this episode, we'll break down some of the REAL threats to kids' safety and explain why they have nothing to do with rainbow onesies or incusive lesson plans.

Ace and Aro

Mon, 05 Jun 2023 20:16:35 GMT

Asexuality and aromanticism are real, but constantly met with skepticism. On this episode, we talk to our guest, Becca Mellema, about her experiences as ace/aro, representation in media, and her complicated relationship with the queer community.

Protest and Prejudice: The Roots of Pride

Mon, 22 May 2023 11:47:52 GMT

Pride is a big celebration these days - and big business. We discuss the first Pride parades (they were marches), what Pride celebrations mean today, and how the LGBTQ and ally communities can stay in touch with the movement's roots.

Just the Facts: What You Need to Know About Gender Affirming Care

Mon, 08 May 2023 12:12:38 GMT

A Conversation with Dr. Kathryn Lowe

The tea on LGBTQ+ slang

Tue, 25 Apr 2023 02:31:26 GMT

Friend of Dorothy. Gaypanic. Enby. U-hauling.

Every subculture has its own unique way of speaking, and the communities under the LGBTQ+ umbrella are no different. We'll explore this language, from the secret phrases gay people used to protect themselves in the past to the terms that bond friends in the present.

The Wannabe King and the Mouse in His Way

Tue, 11 Apr 2023 01:56:37 GMT

Disney vs. DeSantis: is it a marketing ploy, a power struggle between middle aged men, a real attempt to champion human rights - or all of the above?

Just Put a Rainbow On it: The corporate charade of Pride marketing

Mon, 27 Mar 2023 14:26:59 GMT

Just about everyone has a line of rainbow gear for Pride Month nowadays. Which brands truly support and advocate for the LGBTQ community, and which are just taking advantage of a marketing oppportunity?

J.K. Rowling is up to no good

Tue, 14 Mar 2023 00:24:20 GMT

So many of us have deeply loved the Harry Potter series - whether we grew up reading them or discovered them as adults - but have found the books' message of love and acceptance challenged by their author's transphobic remarks. What do we do with all this contradiction?

Rainbow Reading: Books we recommend for LGBTQ+ kids

Mon, 27 Feb 2023 14:23:25 GMT

It's hard to know what books have good represenation and are age appropriate - especially when rampant book bans suggest that ALL books with LGBTQ+ characters are obsene. Here are some thoughts on the bans, and some recommendations for kids and parents.

Queer is Here

Mon, 13 Feb 2023 21:13:36 GMT

We break down what it means to own the word queer, why and when it's okay to use it, and why some people find it upsetting.

Best LGBTQ+ TV Shows of 2022: Our Top 5

Mon, 30 Jan 2023 16:24:44 GMT

We summarize and rank five LGBTQ+ shows that debuted in 2022.

The Pronouns

Mon, 09 Jan 2023 17:42:11 GMT

Even Merriam-Webster is on board! Can we middle aged parents break free from our grammar education and embrace the they/them?

"We Belong in these Rooms": A conversation with Zooey Zephyr

Mon, 26 Dec 2022 17:08:39 GMT

Join us as we get to know Zooey Zephyr, representative-elect to the Montana State House and soon to be the first transgender woman to hold public office in Montana!

Election 2022: Takeaways

Mon, 28 Nov 2022 22:12:48 GMT

The 2022 election saw record numbers of LGBTQ+ candidates and some groundbreaking victories. What does it all mean?

Trailer

Mon, 21 Nov 2022 23:07:20 GMT

Welcome to Queer Kid, Straight Mom!

Bury Your Gays: Queer Coding in Horror Movies, Part 2

Mon, 14 Nov 2022 20:44:32 GMT

Nothing terrifies polite society so much as someone who is different. Horror movies have always blurred the lines between monster and misfit, unnatural and non-conforming. Join us on this journey through decades of horror films as we decode filmmakers' queer messaging and the human fear of otherness.

Bury Your Gays: Queer Coding in Horror Movies, Part 1

Mon, 31 Oct 2022 13:53:14 GMT

Queer Baiting: What It Is, What It's Not, and Why It Matters

Tue, 18 Oct 2022 03:22:04 GMT

Ever heard the term "queer baiting?" We're breaking down where the term originated, the ways it's misused, and how even the most open-minded of us fall into the trap of letting our assumptions shape our expectations.